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Growing up, we have a intuitive sense of wanting to belong or fit in. The emptiness in our hearts says that something is missing in our life. That dormant desire for acceptance gets cultivated into full blown beliefs, usually inherited and taught to us. We believe in things like Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy and Jesus, all at the same time. Being as impressionable as kids are, we believe all the teachings and myths as part of our nascent efforts to belong. Ironically, Santa punishes bad kids and Jesus punishes bad people; they both reward good behavior. After totally accepting them all as absolute truth, we are told that that the Tooth Fairy and Santa are actually fairy tales and myths, yet the other should be regarded as real. As a not-so-impressionable adult, we spend years seeking the truth of that final myth, which offers us no more concrete evidence than the other two.

The point I wish to make is this: many of us hold on to to beliefs not grounded in absolute truth, as long as it work for us. We blindly accept what promises to ease our burdens or solve our problems. As long as it provides relief and a sense of certainty, no ultimate reality is necessary to reinforce the habitual belief. It is only after people don’t find the relief they are after, that they seek the greener pastures of another “truth” that works for them. The current hoopla around marriage equality is an opportunity to examine our own truth. Many who lament that marriage is being redefined, have themselves created their own definition, one they wish everyone else to accept. Using the term “marriage” as opposed to “loving committed relationship” seem to be what drives opponents of equality bonkers.

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