theguardian: by Sarfaraz Manzoor —

“There are not too many Pakistanis because their children have been brought up with different values – their children would be too ashamed to put their parents in a care home,” says Fareeda, who is from Lahore and has worked as a full-time care officer at Aashna for the past seven years.

Some Asian people are turning their backs on tradition and putting their ageing parents into a home rather than within the extended family. Sarfraz Manzoor visited Aashna House in London to find out why

Manjula Shah and her husband ran a newsagent’s in Thornton Heath, Croydon, for 12 years – rising every day at 4am to ensure that local children did not steal the papers from the pavement then spending 12 hours behind the till. On the morning of 15 May 1995, Mr Shah dropped dead because of a heart attack. It was his 55th birthday.

When their daughter subsequently married, Manjula began to feel extremely lonely. “And that was when my daughter said she had found this place where I would not be alone,” she says.

On 13 August 2009, Manjula moved into Aashna House, a residential care home for elderly Asians, in south London. Manjula is one of 34 residents at the home, supported by a team of 30 people also of Asian origin.

Aashna House is not unique, but it’s unusual in offering culturally specific care. Everyone who works with the residents is fluent in Gujarati and Hindi, the food is prepared according to religious requirements, and the television in the common room is permanently tuned to Asian channels. I recently spent two days at Aashna House, and on my first visit I met Manjula.

“My daughter is in Canada and she has been there since December,” she told me, “but she phones me regularly.” I asked her what it was like when she first came here. “I was scared,” she said, “but I had no choice.”

What does she do all day?

“It’s very boring just sitting watching television. We do exercise sometimes. I am 65 and there are very old people here, but there was no choice for me – I had to come so my daughter could have peace.”

More:  http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2011/feb/26/asian-parents-care-homes-sarfraz-manzoor