To My Muslim-American Friend: About Your Hijab

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“People fail to get along because they fear each other; they fear each other because they don’t know each other; they don’t know each other because they have not communicated with each other.” -Martin Luther King Jr.

Source: Huffington Post

By Jennifer Reinharz, M.S.Ed: Writes for children. Blogs for grown ups. Teacher. CrossFitter. Interfaith Mom.

Thank you for introducing yourself to me on the school yard when I was new to the community.  Had you not, I don’t know if I would have extended a hand.

When I first saw you in the neighborhood, I avoided eye contact. I couldn’t see pass the hijab. Your headscarf represented to me a religion of extremes, a culture of anti-Semitism and a stifling of the modern woman. I quickly concluded we were from different worlds and hence, unable to find common ground – until we did.

Our sons’ fast friendship led to ours. Several conversations, a few CrossFit WODs and a shared hookah later, my eyes shifted their focus.

Your commitment to Islam is rooted in a spirituality that transcends all religions.

When asked, “What did you learn from making pilgrimage to Mecca?” you told the young people at the local mosque that in light of the experience, both positive and negative, you returned grateful for the gifts God gives us as free, healthy human beings and with an understanding that He loves us, imperfections and all.

At home, you demonstrate your love for God through modesty, daily prayer, study and diet. But that love is also deeply evident in the thoughtful way in which you respect yourself, interact with others, approach parenting, nurture relationships and care for patients.

Your words and actions remind me we are all connected.

You have an open, accepting and generous heart. 

As a Christian woman raising Jewish children married to a man with a strong connection to Israel, I was worried my friendship with someone of Palestinian descent might be tricky.  I was wrong.

From day one, you welcomed my family into your home.  You taught us about your culture, answered questions, appreciated our traditions, and even joined us for holidays. When my son swallowed a marble, you were at my door despite having worked a full day.  When I had jury duty, you spent the afternoon with my boys even though your children had busy schedules of their own.  You think of my family whenever you cook or travel and thanks to your charming sweet tooth, my children affectionately refer to you as “The Candy Fairy.”

The goodness that emanates from you inspires me be better.

You are an advocate for women; a role model for your son and daughters.

Your dress may be traditional, but your ideas are progressive, willful and strong.  I was moved when in an effort to understand practices, question inequities and evoke change, you approached Muslim women in the streets of Mecca and asked how they felt wearing a khimar, a long garment covering their head, neck, and shoulders, ran errands in pants to encourage dialogue and questioned local leaders about the sanitation of the city.

Every day I watch you work tirelessly to support your family, use your education to help others, handle conflict and struggle with grace and perseverance, tackle new adventures with uncanny energy, act zany, be fun and simply love life.

You are an exemplary, modern American woman who I feel proud to call friend.

Connection and communication helped me confront prejudice, challenge stereotypes and understand a culture I knew only through media, politics and hearsay.  I have renewed hope for future generations when I see our sons playing, laughing and treating each other as brothers.

The hijab is but a frame for the beautiful person you are outside and within.

Reference

Categories: Hijab, The Muslim Times

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2 replies

  1. To: Jennifer Reinhart: The Koran (Muslim, Islam, Mohammad), is an extension of the jews scriptures (dates from 600 AD – Christians were still in their early years) . I, having read the Bible thoroughly, put education before religion. The word ‘religion’ is nothing more than imagination of the contents. I have an insight into the Koran through The Muslim Times. What’s confusing about the hijab is it is (I assume), part of national dress, but when worn (more so when deliberate), in other countries, it is a symbol of forcing religion upon other people

  2. BURQA AND HIJAB MAKE PEOPLE SCARED.
    If people afraid of Burqa or Hijab you better NOT to wear Hijab or Burqa in public place. Isla, do not scare people but make people feel save and blessing.

    Burqa and Jilbab have limited women to participate the international Olympics, and make people scared other people too. whereas Burqa or Jilbab is the ancient Arab tradition who live in desert in order to protect her head, hand and feet from the sand storm that can harm women badly. That is a logical reason why Allah and Prophet Muhammad (saw) suggested. Covering hair, hand and feet are not obligation in Islam Quran 24:31, Quran 33:59, but those verses are suggestion for women who live in desert.
    Islam is logical religion, progress and modern Religion. The wives and Daughters of King Abdullah of Jordan and President Assad of Syria (shia) do not wear the ancient Aeab tradition dress anymore.They are modern Muslim who live in 21st Century.

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