PARIS: A French magazine alleged Friday that Francois Hollande routinely drives through the streets of Paris on a scooter to spend the night with his mistress, raising concerns for the security of the head-of-state.
Hollande reacted furiously to the allegation — backed up by photos reportedly showing the president entering the flat of actress Julie Gayet — but did not deny it, threatening legal action over what he called an attack on his right to privacy.
Closer’s Friday edition carried a seven-page report on the 59-year-old president’s alleged infidelity under the headline “Francois Hollande and Julie Gayet — the president’s secret love.”
“It’s a real passion that has… turned their lives upside down and makes them take insane risks,” the magazine wrote.
To back up its claims, the magazine printed photos of Gayet, 41, arriving at a flat in an upmarket part of Paris on December 30, not far from the Elysee palace where Hollande lives.
A combination of pictures shows French actress Julie Gayet smiling as she arrives for a screening during the 65th Cannes film festival in Cannes on May 25, 2012, and France’s President Francois Hollande smiling at the Elysee presidential palace on December 5, 2013 in Paris. French magazine Closer on January 10, 2014 said President Francois Hollande was having an affair with actress Julie Gayet, promising to back its claim with photographs after months of swirling rumours. AFP PHOTO / VALERY HACHE / THOMAS SAMSON
Categories: Europe and Australia, France
May we humbly suggest that France legalizes polygamy to enable the French President to treat his second girl friend equal to his first girl friend?
Rafiq A Tschannen
I find your comment as immoral as the fact that a married man sneaks behind his partner’s back to have an illicit affair! What about the opinion of his first girlfriend, who has a right to expect and trust that their relationship is monogamous?! Do you think that for a muslim wife it makes a difference whether her husband’s ‘other woman’ has a marriage certificate or not? You muslim men seem to have no concept of a special and exclusive relationship between a man and a woman and it is clear from that that you see women as simply bodies to be made use of. That is truly sad – you miss out and your women certainly miss out even more!
In a similarly disturbing way, the promise of 72 virgins in heaven apparently does not even consider that those women might have feelings about being raped by all and sundry! At least in the west, although many married men or women are tempted and stray, the ideal is for monogamy and respect between couples and, in fact, surveys show that people have become far less tolerant of infidelity than they were a few years ago. The reason? Because from personal experience, so many people, male or female, realise the terrible hurt and above all sense of betrayal caused. Ask your wife for her opinion (or is it ‘wives’?)
The worst thing about calls for polygamy or tolerance of infidelity is that it insults men – implying that they have no control over their animal instincts, while at the same time not trusting women to control their own, hence the terrible restrictions placed on their lives for centuries.
Jo: You seem to have absolutely no feeling for the ‘second girlfriend’. Does she not have the right to be treated equally to the first? Or in fact better as equal wives, of course.
Yes, I agree with you, the ‘ideal marriage’ of one loyal husband with one loyal wife is better, but when this ideal cannot be achieved, then polygamy is better than what is going on all around us, from the ‘normal citizen’ to the President.
Rafiq; I find your attitude completely perplexing and alien! NO, I have absolutely no feeling for the second girlfriend. I was married for 20 years and believe that my husband was faithful during that time. We were a nice family with 2 children. When we were under great strain due to my son being bullied at school and other matters he had an affair with a colleague. To my mind she was an unprincipled woman who hoped to split us up. I had no respect for my husband because of his weakness, betrayal of his marriage vows and his lies. The thought that in a Muslim society I might be expected to have that woman move into my home and share my huband would be intolerable! I find it staggering that you see it as acceptable. My friend teaches in Qatar sees first hand how unhappy and confused children are who find themselves on the position of having more than one mother. This is a very distasteful backwards looking situation that illustrates the low status of women in nomadic and Arab cultures.
My question to you is: do you have no feelings for the first wife? Do you not care that 1st wives dread the thought of their husbands having second wives or girlfriends? And you did not answer my question as to whether men cannot be expected to control their animal instincts?
Jo: I do have a lot of feelings for my first wife. Yes, she would prefer me to be the ‘perfect’ husband, faithful to her only, but it seems she does appreciate the reality of life and looks forward to my return from my second residence every second evening. Whether men can be expected to control their animal instincts? I recall that my(Christian) mother asked this question to our family doctor. She was a bit tired having nine children in a matter of eleven years or so. The doctor … smiled and said that this was not a possible suggestion… Anyway, not everyone has nine children and not everyone has a second (and subsequent) wife …
Jo, you really have not travelled to Africa, have you or the narrow confines of your Western society? Therefore you have no idea how many societies outside in the rest of the world really live and thrive in polygamous conditions…
Forget about Islam, but most indigenous Africans have more than one wife and sometimes more than 4 if they are not Muslims.
In fact, most of them will tell you that they are practicing Christians and while they marry one wife in Church, the remainder are acquired according to customary law.
And believe it or not, very few of these women or their children have any problem with their husband having a co-wife or their respective children having any psychological effects due to having more than one mother.
All of them grow up happily together most of the time.
Mr Tschannen, I now see why you defend polygamy, since you are a polygamist yourself. You admit your first wife would prefer to have you to herself but you do not care. Obviously Muslim wives have no choice but to put up with unfaithful husbands. So why do Muslim women only have one husband? Or maybe they have secret second husbands. It would explain why they have always been so restricted and mistrusted!
Raziya, I have traveled to many countries, including Indonesia and the Philippines, though not Africa. I can appreciate that in extremely poor societies the priority is survival and marrying for love would not be a priority. I know that some African women will agree to marry polygamously if a man has wealth and status, just as some western women will choose to be the mistress of a wealthy or influential man, as on the case of the French president’s second girlfriend has done. She could certainly have found someone nearer her own age and far more attractive, so I can only imagine she was bowled over by his status!
What is sad, is when women support men’s worst instincts and collude with them to keep women in the ignominious position of inferiority to men. Are we nothing but sex slaves and breeding stock? I think the achievements of great women in business, politics, the arts, education etc proves we are capable of more than that! The Quran and the Old Testament are sad reflections of the attitudes of men to women a long time ago and have no place on the modern world. And women should not betray their sisters by supporting mysogynistic men.
Jo: Well, you decided to leave your husband when he became unfaithful. My wife decided that half a nice husband is better than none. You should at least acknowledge that she has the right to her decision, as you have the right to yours. …
The subject is polygamy. In Quran, it is allowed to marry more than one lady if necessity arises. The need can be of various kinds and serious illness of the first wife or not being able to bear children can be a reason. After allowing more than one wife, the Quran has ordered equal treatment to all wives. After that, are the words “If you marry only one, that is the best.” In other words Quran advises (supports) to have only one wife but keeps door open for other situations.
Another important lesson in Quran is to allow divorce (as the last decision and much disliked by Allah.) Church disallowed divorce. Then Christians had to go to courts. Where was Christianity the day a Christian went to court to get a divorce!
Now I describe a few things about marriage in Arab world (Gulf and Arabia). It will have to be in some detail. It may be good or bad, according to every one’s feelings.
1. In Arabia, the parents look after the daughters very much. They give her good education and keep her well maintained, well dressed and in good shape. That is not done for the son.
2. The son is responsible to fend for himself and to get good education and raise his ranks for his best future.
3. At the time of marriage, the gentleman (groom) has to go to the ladies house to ask for her hand in marriage. He goes there alone and speaks to the father or guardian of the lady. They settle an amount of dower for her.
4. Example: father says my daughter is worth 50,000 Riyal. The candidate says he can pay only 30,000 and no more. They settle on some amount, say 40,000 Riyal. That amount is for the bride.
5. The groom pays half the dower (20,000/-) and a document is written about later plans of marriage date etc.
6. The father prepares his daughter for marriage with necessities, clothes, ornaments etc. From the 20,000 Riyal, he will spend some money for purchases and keep some for himself and will give the rest to his daughter.
7. On the day of marriage, the groom and his party will not be entertained at brides house unless the groom has made special payment for that.
(One case I attended in Doha. I went to grooms house, all were treated with rice and lamb big dishes and cardamom coffee. Then friends of groom danced with swords.. And the party started for the brides home in cars blowing horns all the way. At brides home, remained for some time and left the groom there at brides home. Next day they flew for honey moon in Paris.)
8. Back to the main subject: There is no marriage (Nikah) without Rukhsati (departure of the bride from her parents home). This info is important for the Muslims in Indo-Pakistan where they say that Nikah has been done but there is no Rukhsati yet. I want to emphasize that there is no nikah without Rukhsati.
9. This was the matter concerning daughters. The money the bride gets belongs to her. In addition wives get more money from their husband every month as maintenance and gifts too. The bride is not required to bring anything (dowry) for marriage.
10. Because the gentleman has spent so much money on his wife, he looks after her well and would not like to lose her. Of course the wife can pay him some money back if she wishes.
11. The son has to earn and get himself married.
12. If there are more than one wife, each one will live separate. Each wife will live in her own house.
11. If and when the husband dies, the wife gets 1/8 or 1/4 of his property.
(More in next post…Insha Allah, some interesting matters about polygamy.)
Continued from my previous post:
11. If and when the husband dies, the wife gets 1/8 or 1/4 of his property.
12. I found Pakistani and Arab ladies fighting in Doha seaside (Quarter moon bay).
13. The quarrel was about husbands. The Arab ladies accused Pakistani ladies of being too possessive and letting husbands enjoy themselves.
14. The Pakistani ladies accused the Arab for not caring much about their husbands, in the matters of love and service.
15. I noted the attitude of the Arab ladies was to serve husband and if he was interested in marrying (having) second wife, they would allow happily. They feel that they are serving the husband all the time. If another wife will come, their job will be reduced. The second wife will share the burden (or duty) without any problem to the first lady, and no love lost. Service in good faith is a must.
16. Another important subject: That is the marriage of a very young lady to an old Shaikh. The girl happily agrees to the marriage for the following reasons:
a. The old Shaikh is a rich man. He will give lot of Dower. The young wife has to make the old man happy by her cooking and love and kisses and by singing and dancing for him. She will remain faithful to her husband and serve him well to make him happy.
b. The person being old has not long to live (may be a few last years of life.)
c. When the husband will die, the wife will get 1/8 of his property if the man had any children or ¼ of entire property if there were no children.
d. She already had much money. She will get more. After that she can get married to a man of her choice.
e. Every daughter is entitled to inherit property from her father and mother too.
f. In Arab countries, a lady is not allowed to marry a man of her choice without parents approval. She has to agree to the choice of her parents for the first marriage.
g. For the second marriage, nobody can press her against her choice. The widow or divorced lady is free to marry whom she likes.
h. When the man dies, the wife has the right to remain in his house for One Year and nobody can turn her out before One year against her will.
j. The above is an approximate expression of what is going on in Arab countries. Few things are good. Many are bad things. Recently there is much awakening amongst ladies. They are pressing ahead for more liberty. Whatever is going on there in Arab world may not be the result of teachings of Islam and Quran. It has become a culture, their culture.
(please ignore any typo mistakes…)