“Because I said so” is a phrase familiar to children around the world. It translates into every language and ensures that children understand that—no matter what they want, think, or believe—they are not getting their way. Growing up, I remember that regardless of how much I researched, how many facts I came up with, or how well I negotiated my stance, my childhood was defined by this simple rule: my parents were always right. There was only one exception to this rule—that their decisions must always be in accordance with Islamic teachings. I, of course used this exception to my advantage with my parents as I grew older, as well as with the organization I founded, the Voice of Libyan Women.

Initially founded in August 2011, VLW focuses on the political, economic, and social empowerment of women. Since then, the organization completed a national assessment focusing on women in security—the first and only of its kind in Libya—as well as conducted interviews with key stakeholders and organized our annual One Voice conference, which brings together the acting head of state, members of Parliament, international ambassadors, and more than 150 local activists to address women’s role in the increasingly complex security situation in Libya.

In the course of holding national workshops and local seminars on women’s roles in security, we realized we were asking the wrong questions. We found that many women vehemently opposed the idea of other women joining the police forces and in the Army—they said that females simply weren’t “strong enough” for the job, or asked, “How do you expect her to guard the citizens of Libya if she cannot guard herself in her own home?” This rhetoric was used to justify women’s lack of participation in public life. So we began to focus more on the role of violence, be it domestic violence, harassment, or public slander, which makes women feel vulnerable in public or leadership roles.

Most of the girls shared the sentiment that … “we are an Islamic country”—not realizing that Islam could and should be used as a means to combat all forms of violence, rather than an excuse to allow it.

Domestic violence is a global problem that crosses all religious, cultural, and societal lines, affecting the safety and security of women around the world. The gap between perceptions of domestic violence and subsequent policies to deal with it are often a result of a society’s willingness to acknowledge the problem. In Libya, domestic violence has long been seen as a family matter and one that neither the state nor any organized body has any say in, or business being involved in. Worse, violence is commonly excused by the misinterpretation and misrepresentation of religion: “Men are able to hold leverage over their wives because our society maintains that its status quo is upheld when men are the dominant heads of a household, with the religious duty to keep ‘authority’ over their families,” says Aziza Khabbush, a Libyan university student. “However, that religious responsibility is abused and twisted into an authoritarian regime where, quite often, men exert their dominance and control, through fear or psychological manipulation, under the pretext of ‘religion.’”

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