theguardian: by Ola Perczynska —
When 14-year-old Deumaya from Gorkha district in Nepal, talked about getting married, she said: “I met my husband in the village. He is two years older than me. It was a love marriage – we were in love. We went to another village and stayed there for some time. When we came back, people said we were married.”
Deumaya’s story is common in many rural Nepalese communities. While the number of child marriages have been decreasing, a staggering 41% of women still get married before they turn 18 (pdf) despite the fact that the legal age of marriage is 20.
Despite child marriage being a human rights violation and the negative effects on girls and subsequently their children being well documented(pdf), in rural Nepal, an increasing number of these unions are considered love marriages. This is seen to be different from traditional arranged marriages, where two families come together and arrange their children’s future spouse. In villages, dating is often impossible because of social norms.
No, I am not a great supporter of child marriages, BUT the ‘usual’ opponents are also wrong by for instance insisting on a ‘legal marriage age’ of 18 or even 20 as in Nepal. This is simply unrealistic. I never in the discussion of marriage age read that the actual ‘age of sexual activity’ is being taken into consideration. For a Muslim these two (age of marriage and age of beginning of sexual activity) needs to be one and the same. Period.
That means age of sexual activity if adopted as age of marriage will be ok for you. Then consider dozens of children per family.
what about family planning?
There is extensive data to show that education and marriage after the teen years is better in terms of economic and social success of the family. This is not a religious question. Moreover consent is only valid when the person giving consent has understanding. Generally accepted norm is 18. So let us not condone child marriage by being ambivalent about it. It should be dealt with as a crime in the West where education and enlightemnet is common. In other societies it is the responsibility of the churches and mosques to educate people about this issue. Just because the religious elders centuries ago married underage girls is not an excuse to continue the practices of ignorance.