A Saudi in Remah married his daughter off to a young Saudi for a single riyal after the groom lost the money he had saved up for paying the “mahr” (dowry) in a traffic accident, sabq.org reported on Saturday.
The groom met with the accident while returning from the bank after withdrawing the cash. He escaped from the accident unharmed, but a thief ran away with his money.
The man then asked the bride’s family to postpone the marriage for a year. But the bride’s father took a symbolic dowry, which won him praise among fellow residents.
SOURCE: ARABNEWS.COM
Categories: Arab World, Asia, Saudi Arabia
In 1970 I attended a wedding in Kabul, Afghanistan. In 1970 Kabul was more ‘liberal’ than now. The marriage took place in a hotel. Both ladies and gents were in one large hall, but as usual automatically ladies tended to move to one side and gents to the other. The ‘Nikah’ (wedding ceremony) took place in one corner. The father of the bride was asked about the amount of dowry. He in turn asked: ‘what do you offer?’ – The ‘bidding’ went up and up and the father of the bride continued to say ‘no’. Tension rose in the hall, guests trying to ‘eaves-drop’ and listen what was going on and telling the others further away. Finally the family of the groom begged the father of the bride to say what was his demand. When the tension was highest he said: ’33 Afghanis’. And the tension broke and relief spread. He was asked why he was asking only for such a small amount and he answered: ‘Either you will be nice to my daughter and then she will not need any money of her own. Or you will not be nice and then any amount will not make her happy.’
Both the groom’s request and the father’s solution was admirable. In South Asian culture at least, we see men write down large sums to show off their income, never intending to pay it, associating payment of dower money with divorce.
Fixing unnecessarily small amounts, as they do in some religious sections of Pakistan is also against the Islamic spirit of Haq Mehr and even becomes a mockery at times.
I did like Rafiq sahib’s story though, it had the right spirit behind it…and it also seemed to be placed in a culture where trend seemed to be of setting unnecessarily high amounts and in a rather strange fashion.