The sunnah of monogamy

 

Source: The Sun

The notion that “African men are polygamous in nature” is an excuse often used to justify the infidelity of menfolk in marriage in African societies. That Islam permits polygamy has further legitimised this belief in Muslim African societies by conferring on the men a sense entitlement to look outside their matrimonial homes for extramarital affairs under the guise of filling up the available spaces, according to the wishes of God as contained in the Quran and exemplified by the Sunnah [prophetic traditions of Muhammad PBUH].

The convergence of culture and faith in Muslim Africa has elevated the practice of polygamy to an article of faith. Polygamy has become a matrimonial identity for menfolk in Muslim Africa, which, unfortunately, has obscured the place of monogamy in Islam as practiced by the Holy Prophet Muhammad PBUH.

Completely orphaned at age six, Muhammad, the son of Abdullah, was taken under the care of first Abdul Mutalib his grandfather and later upon his death by his most loving uncle Abu Talib. A chieftain of the Hashemite clan of the Quraish tribe of Mecca, Abu Talib was also a merchant who plied his trade along the Mecca-Damascus trade route. A man of modest means but with a large family to cater for, Abu Talib carried along his young nephew, Muhammad, on his numerous trade trips in service of the richer caravan of the wealthier aristocrat, Khadija, the daughter Khuwaylid of the clan of Asad of the tribe of Quraish. By this time, the reputation of the young Muhammad, notably of honesty, selflessness and truthfulness went before him throughout the city of Mecca and among the Quraish of Arabia. In pre-Islamic Arabia, such virtues were rare among men. Khadija, his employer, soon noticed these qualities and desired his companionship for life. At the time of their marriage, Khadija the bride was 40 and Muhammad the groom was 25.

Read Further

Suggested reading

Polygamy in Islam: What It Means?

In Defense of the Secular Narrative of the Holy Quran

24 replies

  1. In Africa polygamy is not a ‘Muslim thing’ only. In Ghana polygamy for instance is nearly equal among Muslims and Christians. When I was working in Ghana one contractor who came to my office used to quote to me the bible on a daily basis. When asked how many children he has he answered ’18’. I said that this seems a bit much for one wife. He said that he has three. When queried how he did that he answered that ‘I married one in the church and two according to African tradition. I am an African after all’.

    Well, we do not need to go to Africa. President Mitterand had a wife and a mistress. Would you like more examples?

    • We cannot follow the sunnah of marriage as following

      Anas reported:
      The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) used to have sexual intercourse with his wives with a single bath.

      If Muslim still want to follow the sunnah, people will laugh
      Please do not delate it
      With love ❤️

  2. From my view, Prophet Muhammad ( saw) cannot be a role model of people in marriage case—because beside Prophet had 13 wives he also had many women slaves.

    Prophet married Khadijah 40 years and married Aishah 6 years old—The standard of living of time of prophet is different to day. Therefore we cannot follow his sunnah.

    Those who still follow the sunnah people will be laugh it

    ❤️

    • Quote : It is said that Hazrat Aisha was six years old when her nikah was performed with Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) in Makkah, and nine years old when she moved in to live with her husband in Madina after Hijra.

      What ever reason I cannot buy it —Rafiq
      54 years old man ( prophet) married a 9 years old kid.

      Many mullah or Scholars follow his Sunnah in Pakistan and Afghanistan . Poor kids

      Do you permit your kid to marry with 54 years rich man ?
      I do not

      • when there are different versions Somi always likes to choose the worst one. It is in his character.

      • Somi is blind and deaf. Does not listen to explanations (here about Aisha’s age at the marriage). Anyway, my dear mother-in-law, may she rest in peace, was 13 years old when she married her 17 year old husband. They had an absolutely loving marriage and 12 children (out of which 9 survived to old age).

  3. Prophet also married with his daughter ( his step son, Said’s wife, Zainab ).,I cannot believe it!!

    This style marriage is not fit in modern time.

    • I wonder why you consider yourself a Muslim, or do you ? Yes there are differences in law. For instance Islamic law considers blood relations. Also a Muslim cannot marry the daughter of his wife. In Germany a Minister divorced his wife and married her daughter instead. Other countries other systems.

      • Rafiq— when I try to tell the truth of Islam you accuse me a non Islam— it is not right and Islamic behavior.

        We are talking about Islamic law, not others
        Why did prophet marry his daughter ( wife of Zaid ) whereas Prophet had already many wives .
        It is not a good example for us as Muslim.

        Please do not delate it🙏

      • It was just to show that blood relations count. She was not his daughter. But I have given up hope that you will ever understand anything I say

    • sorry Somi, I need to delete some of your comments, as I cannot bear the disrespect you are showing to our beloved Prophet Mohammad – peace and blessings be on him .

      • When I told the truth from Al Quran or Hadith, As I quote it and then you said I disrespect Prophet Muhammad—just different interpretation.

        The same as the Extremist Scholars accuse ahmadiyyah does not respect Muhammad as the last Prophet. Ahmadiyyah declared thatMGA was a prophet or Masshiah
        .
        Are you a extremist ahmadiyyah, Rafiq? Because you do not respect my interpretation of Islam.

      • your ‘truth’ is picking out individual verses out of the context and not listening to any explanations. The age of Hadhrat Aisha at the time of her marriage is an example.

  4. That is your Imam’s interpretation, I have different source and different interpretation. Who is the right one? Let God judge between us.

    I cannot buy a man 50, 60 years old married a 9 years kid, what ever reason. That is not a good example— people will laugh it.

    Many Mullah in Afghanistan and Pakistan still follow the old Arab tradition as sunnah Marriage

  5. Marriage of girls of puberty age was normal throughout most societies, including Europe. Sometimes puberty comes earlier, sometimes later. Fortunately, this tradition is no longer acceptable in most of the modern world, although it still happens in some places. Girls as well as boys should be educated, not prepared for marriage. And hopefully, we will also soon see an end to polygamy.

    • sounds ok, except for the small issue of ‘beginning of sexual activity’. With Muslims this should be identical with the age of marriage. In the West the average age of the beginning of sexual activity is 15 1/2, meaning some are younger and some are older. Therefore to insist on a marriage age of 18 plus is not considering this aspect. This point is usually not discussed (except by me).

  6. Polygamy in Islam is a limited permission under special circumstances. One wife is the teaching of Islam. In addition the permission of Polygamy comes with strict regulations.
    People can distort and misinterpret and misrepresent anything (such as Somi Tempo in his above comments).
    Ayesha was near 18 years old at the time of her marriage.
    Polygamy is already becoming an exception and it will continue to decline in its acceptance even in Islam.

    • Thanks CS. Polygamy of course was always the exception. Where would all the ladies come from if everyone practiced it.

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