Source: RNS
(RNS) It’s August 2016. Slipping in the polls to the Democratic nominee, Donald Trump searches for someone notable to interview him. Satan volunteers. The following is a rush transcript of their wide-ranging discussion of American politics.
THE DEVIL: Issue No. 1 for me is immigration. For the past three millennia, I’ve been irked by God singling out immigrants as a special class of vulnerable people to protect. How will you fight immigrants on day one?
THE DONALD: I will build a great wall — and nobody builds walls better than me, believe me — and I’ll build them very inexpensively. I will build a great, great wall on our southern border, and I will make Mexico pay for that wall. Mark my words.
THE DEVIL: Your position on blaming all Muslims for all terrorism really resonates with me.
THE DONALD: Donald J. Trump is calling for a total and complete shutdown of Muslims entering the United States.
THE DEVIL: The devil is calling on all Americans to agree. Tell me more about your views on terrorism.
THE DONALD: I’m the worst thing that’s ever happened to ISIS.
THE DEVIL: Focus groups show your chief political weakness, though, is with women. Women always complain about tough men, right?
THE DONALD: You know, it really doesn’t matter what the media write as long as you’ve got a young and beautiful piece of [expletive].
THE DEVIL: But what policies do you support?
THE DONALD: I will be so good to women.
THE DEVIL: How so?
THE DONALD: I will be phenomenal to the women.
THE DEVIL: In what ways?
THE DONALD: You have to treat ’em like [expletive].
THE DEVIL: Indeed. Tell us about one woman who has inspired you?
THE DONALD: You know who’s one of the great beauties of the world, according to everybody? And I helped create her. Ivanka. My daughter, Ivanka. She’s 6 feet tall, she’s got the best body. She made a lot of money as a model — a tremendous amount.
THE DEVIL: This is getting good. Tell me more about your daughter.
THE DONALD: She does have a very nice figure. I’ve said if Ivanka weren’t my daughter, perhaps I’d be dating her.
THE DEVIL: God is always complaining about protecting Creation. I know people really don’t care. How can you best lie to the American people to keep deluding them?
THE DONALD: The concept of global warming was created by and for the Chinese in order to make U.S. manufacturing noncompetitive.
Categories: America, The Muslim Times, US Politics, USA