Source: The Jewish Voice

By Irina Missiuro | November 7, 2013

Saliha Malik dispels myths and stereotypes

The Jewish Voice sat down for a conversation with Saliha (Carol) Malik, a British convert from Christianity to Islam. Malik will appear at Temple Emanu-El’s Fishbein Chapel on Sunday, Nov. 17, at 2:00 p.m. to discuss what it’s like to be a religious Islamic woman. In her talk, she will debunk some prevailing media-perpetuated myths and stereotypes about her faith.

I began the conversation by asking Malik to tell me about herself and the circumstances through which she arrived at the decision to convert. She divulged that, in England, she trained to be a teacher of the Alexander technique – the system of reeducating the postural mechanism. After she finished her studies, she came to the United States in 1984 to establish a drama school in Berkley, California.

While there, she met a young Islamic man whom she describes as “extremely gentle and kind.” Malik elaborated, “I had been acquainted with men in my own culture as being rather pushy and presumptuous in terms of interaction.” Referring to her contact with men in the Islamic community, she said, “I was struck by the difference in their respectful treatment of a woman.” Continuing, Malik shared that this man gave her the writings of the Promised Messiah, the founder of the Ahmadiyya Muslim Community she currently belongs to, and she thought them to be compelling and moving: “I felt his teaching seemed to fit my direction entirely.”

When asked if she still kept in touch with the young man, she smiled and said that he was her husband. For a moment, I was having flashbacks of Austen’s “Reader, I married him,” but Malik quickly ended my Jane Eyre reverie by emphasizing that she would have converted to Islam regardless of whether or not she was in a relationship with a Muslim, saying, “I was very attracted to this path.” She feels that her life is richer through her belief in God. In her community, they emphasize to people that, through devotion, “their lives will be in a state of peace and bliss. Without God, the world is at risk. The ego gets big, and then we get a state of chaos.”

As I wondered about the supposed inequality within a Muslim marriage, she assured me that women have equal rights. According to Islam, a group works better if there is a leader within it, so the family unit recognizes the husband as the leader. He is given the responsibility to provide for his wife and children, so that they all could live in the way that he sees fit. Malik clarified, “Being the breadwinner, he has the last say on a decision.” So, even though his wife and he work together on any problems that might arise, “they have to operate within his framework.” She was quick to note that a husband has an incentive to take care of his wife, so that she could be a good mother to his children. Malik quoted a Muslim saying, “The person who treats his wife well is the best of the Muslims.”

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