Dear Pastor Kitoto
I love reading your advice; I like how you tackle readers’ questions. Mine is a bit sensitive being a staunch Christian, so I am afraid that many will condemn this genuine question. I’ll ask it anyway. The girl I like and love recently converted to Islam. She blames the church for the step she took, and no one has been able to convince her to change her mind. I have preached to many who have given their lives to Christ, and their testimonies are amazing. Being fully aware of the scriptures, for instance 2 Corinthians 6:14, isn’t the best decision to break up with her?
I am ready to settle down and raise a family, and most importantly, serve in my area of calling.
Help, big brother.
Faith is between an individual and God. As a Christian, you willingly follow Jesus not out of hate for other people or the religion they ascribe to. Your faith in God is the result of the love you know God has for you. Because you believed it, this led you to place your trust in him. From your email, your girlfriend seems to have a problem with the church. I am not sure what happened, but whatever it is may have wounded her. I also need to point out that she is entitled to change religions.
As much as you feel a responsibility to preach to her so that she can change her mind, I feel that your motive is selfish.
As Christians, we cannot embark on a journey to try and change someone’s behaviour, spiritual inclination, or values just so that we can make them right for us.
You need to be careful because while you might succeed to change her mind, she might give in just to please you.
In such a case you will have lost your friendship. Now, if you see the issue of faith as critical to a marriage, which I believe you should, I would hope that you see faith also as a personal choice. Yes, you have shared with her about the need to return to Christianity, but you can’t force her to do it. All you can do now is pray that she will have the grace to forgive the church for the injustice she feels she suffered there.
My belief is that, since faith is key in a Christian marriage and in bringing up a family, that you let your faith in God guide the choice you make.
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