11 Wild Scenarios That Could Happen At The GOP Convention

Source: Huffington Post

As the lacy cherry blossoms bloomed along the majestic Tidal Basin in Washington, marking the renewing rites of spring, the capital’s political class turned its attention to … CLEVELAND.

Yes, though four months away, the Republican convention dominates the turbid thinking of candidates, handlers and reporters alike. You know something is up when Karl Rove is writing columns about what happened at the GOP confab in Chicago in 1860.

That gathering was multi-ballot, and ended up nominating Abraham Lincoln. Not a bad outcome. But if Donald Trump is to be denied in Cleveland, where is the 21st century Honest Abe to stop him? The mere mention of the Great Emancipator is enough to discredit the party he helped establish.

Even so, Cleveland is going to be one hell of a show. Here is our initial effort to list the Mistake By the Lake scenarios. There will be more between now and the fall of the gavel.

RANK SCENARIO
1 TRUMP MARCHES IN TO THE ‘RIDE OF THE VALKYRIES’
And civilization ends. No, kidding. Sort of. Trump wins a majority of delegates outright before the convention starts, the GOP leaders give up and his PR team has time to stage the event as a Wagner Festival.
2 TRUMP CUTS A DEAL WITH A CRAVEN FOE
How does Vice President Little Marco sound? Don’t laugh: Rubio has a cache of delegates and has ruined his career in politics, so what does he have to lose besides his dignity? Oh wait, he already lost that, too.
3 TRUMP STALKS OUT
Like a kitten coughing up a giant orange hair ball, the GOP rigs the rules and maneuvers the delegates to finally disgorge The Donald in a rare moment of clarity. He leaves, and the entire world press corps follows him out the door.
4 CRUZ PLANTS ENOUGH ‘ZOMBIE’ DELEGATES IN TRUMP’S RANKS TO WIN
Good news: no Trump. Bad News: Lyin’ Ted, a master of inside manipulation (his “outsider” label notwithstanding), takes over.
5 PAUL RYAN’S ZEN PLAN WORKS
The speaker of the House and convention chair has been “running” by not running. The tactic of mere availability has worked for him so far, and this time he’ll actually be in the room.
6 BROWNS FANS STORM THE CONVENTION FOR KASICH
At the local NFL stadium, the most devoted of the hometown fans gather in the Dawg Pound, wearing dog masks and waving giant bones. Their political equivalents show up for the Ohio governor, and he wins on the eighth ballot.
7 SECRET SERVICE SHUTS THE WHOLE THING DOWN
Especially since Ohio is an “open carry” state, security will be tighter than a Rihanna concert. When Donald and Ted unholster their guns, the feds (over the protests of establishment Republicans) move in.
8 MITT ROMNEY GIVES IT ANOTHER COLLEGE TRY
We didn’t want to mention it any more than you wanted to read this.
9 FORGET JEB, LET’S JUMP RIGHT TO GEORGE P. BUSH
Why wait for this classy vintage to “mature” in the bottle? Let’s drink it now!
10 HUMAN CLONE OF RICHARD NIXON DISCOVERED LIVING IN SAN CLEMENTE
The Trickster was the only Republican devious and ruthless (and smart) enough to tame this menagerie. Luckily, scientists in California were able to recover his DNA from one of his old scotch tumblers.
11 TRUMP ADMITS IT WAS ALL FOR A REALITY TV SHOW, QUITS RACE
Joaquin Phoenix has nothing on the Donald — this really was for the ratings all along. But he will play The Donald in the made-for-TV movie to be licensed, of course, by the Trump Organization.

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Categories: America, The Muslim Times, USA

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