Durban – Polygamy is not meant to hurt or subjugate a woman or make her feel any less, but it is to strengthen the home that has already been built by the first wife.
This is according to Musa Mseleku a South Coast businessman, a husband to four wives and father of 10 who has written a book on polygamy that he hopes will change the many misconceptions of the age-old practice.
Mseleku who is no stranger to telling the world his story as his reality television show uThando neSthembu (Love and Polygamy) has run for two seasons on DSTV’s Mzansi Magic.
“With the book, I am repositioning the idea of polygamy because over the years women in polygamous marriages have been abused, undermined and made to feel like they have shortcomings. This is a sensitive issue especially since it women’s month, some women have been broken because of polygamy,” he said.
Mseleku said his book titled Life and Polygamy seeks to change the perception of polygamous marriages as it contains the thoughts of men who are in these marriages, those who want to take a second wife as well as those who are against the idea.
“The book looks at the good and bad sides of these marriages. Its to teach men that being in these marriages doesn’t mean doing what you feel like doing – just because you have had a fight or misunderstanding with one wife you can just walk out knowing you are going to another wife”.
He explains that it’s not all the time that first wives will agree to a man taking a second a wife and when a first wife expresses unhappiness at the idea a husband should respect that.
“A man should be able to give reasons for wanting to take another wife and the first wife needs to understand these and if she doesn’t a man should understand. Because the idea is not to make her feel any less of a woman and a man’s reasons for taking another wife should not be based on what the first wife has done or not done- it should be about strengthening the family,” he said.
Life and Polygamy is available nationwide in all CNA stores.