Spare me the Zionist conspiracies

Source: Express Tribune

Written by Mani Khawaja

“The parts are Jewish!” screams Barry, an ill-tempered white convert to Islam, played to perfection by Nigel Lindsay in the critically acclaimed film, Four Lions.

The car has broken down and rather than admit to his friends that he hasn’t had it fixed, he claims, “Jews invented spark plugs to control global traffic.”

We’re meant to laugh at outrageous, outlandish accusations such as this, but this scene could be used to portray a sad reality in Pakistan. It highlights what is wrong with a large segment of our society.

Many Pakistanis seem to have this unhealthy obsession with conspiracy theories, especially those with a Zionist twist to them. Shows such as Zaid Hamid’s were the catalyst needed to bring this once fringe ideology to the forefront. My Facebook page is flooded with posts in this regard.

A close relative of mine is a proud Sialkoti and a staunch supporter of the PML-N. He watched with apprehension as Imran Khan’s PTI gained traction which culminated in hundreds of thousands of supporters flocking to jalsas in Lahore and Karachi. However, it was easier for him to believe that Imran Khan was being propped up and financed by a large Jewish consortium than to understand the fact that people are frustrated with the corruption and incompetence of the same old people that have been elected in the past.

Yay tu pakki Yahoodi party hai!”

(He’s a Jewish collaborator for sure!)

Why stop at Imran Khan? The people who attacked the Sri Lankan cricket team were part of a Jewish conspiracy to end cricket in Pakistan. The people who are blowing up mosques and killing innocent people around the country are also Jewish because Muslims could never kill other Muslims. Our cricketers caught up in the spot-fixing scandal too were wrongly implicated and maligned by the powerful Jewish lobby that controls the media, because they were obviously afraid that Pakistan was going to become the best team in the world. Even the doodhwaala (milkman) must be a Jewish infiltrator because no true Muslim would ever be involved in milawat.

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